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-   -   I've wrote it and you're reading it <3 ~ (https://vb.ckfu.org/t379748.html)

Dalal Khalid 2012- 10- 10 07:37 PM

رد: I've wrote and you're reading it <3 ~
 
]wow, as i said before, there are some grammatical mistakes but im only assessing your writing

i really liked this one, you were writing from the heart just like a professional writer and you reached to the audience with your pasionate words and relativly short clear sentences

:21::21::21::21::21:
Well I do what i can but I am not perfect :$
that was the most honest opinion i got so far Thank you <3

prestigious 2012- 10- 10 07:44 PM

رد: I've wrote it and you're reading it <3 ~
 
Really Great
I'm waiting the whole book but now I will read all what you wrote
I read the first part

thank you dalal you are such a good writer

Unlucky 2012- 10- 10 07:44 PM

رد: I've wrote it and you're reading it <3 ~
 
اقتباس:

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Dalal Khalid (المشاركة 7389960)
“I want to be a princess” said the 8 years old girl on the white dress. The little girl was defiantly a dreamer. She couldn’t understand the fact that she can’t be a princess when her mother told her so, Dalal, the young girl felt sadness and maybe a little bit of madness. “Why can’t I be a princess if that was what I want?” thought Dalal.
She looked on the mirror she was able to see a curly hair with a tanned skin color, her Arabian roots was shown. She thought “maybe it’s because I don’t have a white skin color like snow-white or a blonde hair like Cinderella”. Dalal wasn’t that normal little girl, she used to ask too much about everything and she used to think too much that she almost missed her childhood, but even though she calculated facts and moves about everything around her, Dalal was mad that she couldn’t expect and know for sure the future and the unknown was getting her frustrated.
Dalal turned around to find her mother looking out on the window, she ran over to her lap. Sat down and asked her “mum, am I beautiful?” Her mother laughed, hugged her and told her “yes Dalal you are” with a tender smile drown on her face. “But I am not blonde like Cinderella or white skinned like snow white” said the girl with shaking lips. Her mom looked straight at her eyes and said “beauty is what your eyes believe it is. The eyes tell the truth that your heart feel” “I don’t understand mom” said Dalal. “It means that you’re beautiful to me because my eyes know the truth of your heart and I love you.it doesn’t matter if you were black or white, tall or short, because no matter what… I will always love you, you are my very beautiful daughter” Dalal smiled and went to play with her doll, she knew she looked nothing like that beautiful doll but she also knew that her mother loved her more than anything in the whole wide world and that was more than enough in that moment, because it was all what she wanted.

*

From my book *Dalal*
a short flash back from her childhood


:27:this piece of writing is so good, it could be a good bed time story for kids,

if you can keep writing with the same style, i believe you can make fairy tales for kids and obviously you are so good at this

:43:im honest, don't be upset with me

Dalal Khalid 2012- 10- 10 07:49 PM

رد: I've wrote it and you're reading it <3 ~
 
[]Really Great
I'm waiting the whole book but now I will read all what you wrote
I read the first part

thank you dalal you are such a good writer[

Thank you, I don't think I will post so many of it but I'll do my best to share <3

Dalal Khalid 2012- 10- 10 07:52 PM

رد: I've wrote it and you're reading it <3 ~
 
[]:27:this piece of writing is so good, it could be a good bed time story for kids,

if you can keep writing with the same style, i believe you can make fairy tales for kids and obviously you are so good at this

:43:im honest, don't be upset with me

I am not upset at all you just didn't get the point it was just a hint that this child had some thoughts about herself which will help as the story goes on in makeing the thought of the girl who is trying to realize her inside and outside
grows up in a very complicated way
'cause she used to think ....diffrently
idk ..did you get it ?
:24:


Unlucky 2012- 10- 10 08:00 PM

رد: I've wrote it and you're reading it <3 ~
 
اقتباس:

المشاركة الأصلية كتبت بواسطة Dalal Khalid (المشاركة 7390241)
[]:27:this piece of writing is so good, it could be a good bed time story for kids,

if you can keep writing with the same style, i believe you can make fairy tales for kids and obviously you are so good at this

:43:im honest, don't be upset with me

I am not upset at all you just didn't get the point it was just a hint that this child had some thoughts about herself which will help as the story goes on in makeing the thought of the girl who is trying to realize her inside and outside
grows up in a very complicated way
'cause she used to think ....diffrently
idk ..did you get it ?
:24:




yes yes, i understand what you mean..... the begging sounds like a fairy tale to me, but if you think you can develop the story to describe Dalals in her adolescence and mature age,then i think the story could grow into something great

:21::21::21::21:

Dalal Khalid 2012- 10- 10 08:04 PM

رد: I've wrote it and you're reading it <3 ~
 
Insha'Allah I will <3 ~
:16:Thank you

Unlucky 2012- 10- 10 08:09 PM

رد: I've wrote it and you're reading it <3 ~
 
:27:you are very welcome, and i hope that you will continue writing and maybe publish a book someday

Dalal Khalid 2012- 10- 10 08:13 PM

رد: I've wrote it and you're reading it <3 ~
 
I whish I could show it to someone like a teacher or doctor
i can't publish it here for sure and I am not sure that i should keep writing it any way thank you very much <3
and step by as much as you can read everything and comment if you liked to do so :17:

Unlucky 2012- 10- 10 08:20 PM

رد: I've wrote it and you're reading it <3 ~
 
^^^^
i guess you should, you can send your writings to your English instructor, or maybe show it to a native speaker and ask him for an honest opinion , i really wish you would keep writing, because you seem to love it and you are really good

don't quit please, i will help you with anything
i hate to see people with big goals unsupported

:16::16:


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